well of lost plots

{via new york public library}

I just heard the most disturbing thing from my Humanities professor: there is no such thing as a librarian anymore.

No, it's true! According to the professional side of things, he is currently a Knowledge Manager, which actually makes me want to curl up in a corner somewhere until it's all over. You can have your gingerbread persons and deferred success, but don't you dare go near my books.

In other upsetting world news (though this one is specific to me, so skip if you'd like to be spared the complaint), I got my Humanities midterm back only to find the grading rubric completely backwards. Here's how he does it: each component he deems worthy of an essay is assigned a number on his grading sheet. If said component doesn't make it into your essay, he writes said number alongside your essay and subtracts the points as necessary. If, however, you happen to say something original and inspiring and relative to the prompt, you get a plus sign as well, which count for five points apiece in hopes that you might redeem yourself along the way. Here's what my essay margin looked like:

2
6
9(1/2)
12
14
____
36
+
+
+
____
-21

I stayed after class. "So," I began, trying to be reasonable, "just to make sure, for my next essay, what you want is more of a list? Paragraphs held together with facts and no noticeable transition?" He nodded, smiling.

P: More or less, yes. I want to see that you've successfully read the reading and payed attention to my lectures.

E: Right. But shouldn't an essay show . . . well, more of a synthesis? That not only did you read and listen, but processed the information and made it your own?

P: (completely ignoring me) Well, for example, remember what I said about Copernicus? How he'd read so much as a result of the print revolution? That's all you needed to say in order to get the points for number fourteen.

E: Okay, but what about all the rest I said about Copernicus? That doesn't count?

P: No, but look---you made up for it in the plus signs. This was extremely well-written and thoughtful. Very enjoyable. I don't think I've ever given anybody so many plus signs.

E: (gives up) Well, thank you. Now I know how to prepare for the next essay. Very insightful.

P: Excellent. See you Thursday, then? I'm looking forward to that research paper. The Aldine Press is fascinating.

This little conversation wasn't remotely hopeful, especially as I'm in the midst of Fellowing, too. If my students only had to worry about list-making, we'd be in good shape.

{I should probably take this moment to explain that I do like my professor, I do. He's put together a well-rounded curriculum and always manages a good class discussion. But he says Italian and Italy with a hard I at the beginning, and it hasn't improved much from there.}