wie heiβt der Mann mit dem Scnurrbart?

A message to the mustachioed men of this mountain campus:
Just because the Honor Code allows them, doesn't mean you should have one.

You are not cute, hip, edgy, or artsy
and I think we all learned a very long time ago
that whatever Lindsay's up to doesn't count as cool

{also, I am learning very helpful words in my German class}