into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires

Act I, Scene I Porta San Marco

A group of girls await their bus in a small park space just outside of Siena, Italy. All tend toward the sunlight on this cold morning, but for two girls, taking care to stand just inside the darkest shadow. . .

LAUREN: Hello, everyone.

EVERYONE: (a little weirded out by her formality) Um, hey.

CAILEY: Do you guys ever have that thing, where your skin feels bruised and all sensitive when you touch it? My foot's killing me, and I don't know what's wrong.

LAUREN: That is really weird, I have no idea.

ELIZABETH: Really? For someone with two graduate degrees in medicine, that should be easy.

SHARLIE: Wait, what's going on? Who are you?

LAUREN: Will you--

ELIZABETH: Yes.

LAUREN: But won't she---

ELIZABETH: Nope.

SHARLIE: Um, right. Hey, where's Kimberly?

LAUREN: Strange, she should be here by--

ELIZABETH: Don't worry about it. She'll be here in the next eleven seconds.

SHARLIE: Oh, I get it! You're magic eight balls. Right? You're totally magic eight balls.

LAUREN: (steps onto bus with a roll of the eyes as ELIZABETH laughs behind her. She leads the little group to the very back row, where they sit well away from all the others and watch them with disdain.) Hey, Can I see what's in your bag? (her arm touches SHARLIE's)Oh, sorry. My skin's a bit cold.

CAILEY: Your skin's cold? (laughing) What? I've never heard anyone use that apology before.

SHARLIE: So Cailey had this dream last night, that Alessandro gave Sydney a "J" in Humanities. You know, like worse than an "F".

CAILEY: Well, I'm worried about grades, okay? Not everybody can get an A.

ELIZABETH: That's true. You're getting an A-.

SHARLIE: Wait a minute, are you precog? Can you see the future? You guys, this is weird. You're being weird. Like you're not human.

LAUREN: (shrugs)

KIMBERLY: This is either going to be really fun, or really annoying.

ELIZABETH: Both. Sharlie will find it funny all day long, while you'll find us obnoxious within the next fifteen minutes. Either way, it will all culminate in catastrophe at the Piazza dei Priori.

SHARLIE: AH! You're Alice! You're vampires! Oh, you're vampires! Am I right, am I right?

LAUREN: I can't believe it took you this long. (pops a cracker into her mouth. ELIZABETH looks at her, skeptical) What? Gotta keep up appearances. Even if it does taste like cardboard.

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Who knew vampires could be such fun?---a good part of our morning was given to the game: ripping gummy bears to pieces when we felt hungry, using our super-secret superpowers to communicate when necessary, and pretending that the cold didn't affect us in the least. And the weather couldn't have been more helpful.

The sky darkened as the bus wound its way up to Volterra, clouds threatening rain. We arrived in the Piazza just as the bell struck one, an hour too late to have saved Edward. We set immediately to picture taking, our best vampire faces aided with a few pretzel fangs, reenacting a few key moments from the New Moon drama. Along an alley wall fans have left their undying love and devotion to Stephenie Meyer's universe, despite the fact that she has her setting all wrong. No alley near enough for Bella to have pushed Edward out of the sun. No sewer cover nearly big enough to fit a few dozen humans through. You guys, there's not even a fountain. No fountain. As if Meyer's writing needed one more thing to make it so much more the failure.

By the time we reached San Gimignano, the rain was falling in earnest. The cobblestone streets were slick with water, and though we took refuge in a church for a good half hour, eventually we had to face the weather. We wandered, arms linked against the storm, through several leather stores and finally up to the WORLD CHAMPION GELATERIA (this is a true story), where I had the most divine coconut ice cream in the history of all ice cream eating, alongside a rather beautifully tart mixed berries and completely unreal pear. Outside, the city was dark, the towers black against the clouds. We walked back to the bus happy, with British accents we were to keep up the entire hour's ride home (much to Alessandro's amusement, I'll have you know. What a love, that one.).

From Alice Cullen to Hermione Granger in a day. Couldn't possibly ask for more.

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Act V, Scene III San Gimignano

ELIZABETH: Oi, it's a bit nippy, you know. Wish I had a jumper.

LAUREN: I'm finkin' the same fing; a brolly would be nice too, eh?

SHARLIE: Jolly good, alert the corgies!

(or something like that)