do you remember?

I really love realizing it's the 21st night of September, so that I can sing the song. Because then I get to smile about specific hilarity of an inside joke my senior year, which then leads to laughter when that reminds me of Ray Charles and Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and then a blissful moment of reflection on potstickers and organic salsa. A! We were so hilarious.

I love the memories a sound can hold.

This morning I listened Brooke, remembering how she was my only friend the morning I landed in London all those many months ago. I remembered hauling my suitcase and carryon up and down countless flights of stairs, navigating the Underground based on colors and some latent directional instinct. I remembered falling asleep in Hyde Park, and then waking up to walk along Embankment. I remembered boarding the 509 to Cardiff, as if it were something I'd done a hundred times and couldn't have thought twice about it.

What I don't remember is ever being scared. Or nervous, or worried, or over-anaylsing, which is always, always the case with me. I remember being a little surprised at my calm and confident take on this new adventure, but then thinking it through as I left England for Wales. It made sense, I guess. I'd waited a long time for this, had planned and prepared to study abroad ever since I was old enough to understand my mum's attachment to Vienna. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, either; everyone was going their separate ways this summer, and my door had opened. I'm not saying I necessarily deserved it, like it was my right or my destiny---but I was ready for it, so ready. In that moment (Croeso i Cymru!), I realised that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and becoming exactly who I want to become. And Brooke sang still so young to travel so far/but old enough to know who you are . . .

Which, turns out, is a really fantastic feeling. I wish I felt it all the time. I wish everyone could feel that sense of purpose, that seal of approval. I hope everyone has those moments of clarity, and joy. And I'm really hoping everyone's headed to listen to their favorite song, ready to remember.