what a world of solemn thought their monody compels

I wake up to bells, I fall asleep to bells. I write to bells and art to bells and walk to bells day in day out day in day out. Every hour, the bell. Every half hour, the bell. Sometimes, a bell just because. Oh, it's 4:19? Goodness, we should celebrate. Somebody, quick. Ring the bell!

Who is working all these bells, in all these churches, all over the city?

Occassionally, I wish they would disappear. Let me sleep, let me think, let me walk without your accompanying beat. Most often I appreciate their spontaneous song, glad to have something to mark a moment. But sometimes, I catch them swinging. Through a school window, the space between buildings, the curve of a cobblestone road. It is the heavy swing of metal weight to a ragtime beat, rocking with an energy far too young for their ancient hinges.

These are the moments that tend to fill me up, that swell with a sudden emotion I can't quite identify. I am at once full of the joy of living, of being caught in a minute of clanging revelry, and then fraught with a sense of loss, feeling the past slip away with the marked hour. Catching the bells as they toll makes me think, makes me want to figure it all out. Today, I feel like I got a little bit closer to the truth.

I love November 11th. I've talked about it before. But it becomes all the sweeter when you find yourself so far from home, coming to know better the country you left behind. Away from America, I miss my library card, city blocks, and drinking fountains. Silly things like my Converse shoes or Costco salsa. But I have also come to understand a missing for something greater, for the sense of freedom and possibility I didn't really know we have.

When the bells swing, I feel joy for that same freedom. We are alive, we are learning, we are so lucky. I am in Italy because of life choices I was able to make freely, because of parents who believe in this growing and expanding, because of a university that wanted to give me this opportunity. And then I feel a solemnity amidst these chimes. They have rung for centuries now, across decades of human suffering and sadness and turmoil. I am in Italy because of the men who made the choice to serve, because of the generations who trusted in this freedom to grow and become, because of a country who fights for what they believe. And for that, the bells can ring absolutely any time they'd like.

(five o'eight, and all's well)