mordersi della lingua

Two weeks ago I read an Italo Calvino story about a man named Palomar who decided that too many people speak before thinking (this is true). So, to make up for this tactless world, Palomar begins to think through his conversations a minimum of three times before a single word slips through his mouth. If, after three "bites of the language," his thoughts aren't worth verbalising, he doesn't say them at all. Sometimes, Palomar doesn't speak for months.

I know how he feels.

At lunch today, I was reflecting on the fact that I don't really actually speak Italian. I mean, I can get by---the important things, like shopping and gelato, aren't a problem---but if anyone's looking for a serious conversation out of me, they're going to have to wait a while. In the meantime, a quick list of some rather fabulous Italian phrases, in case you're looking for something than the usual ciao and grazie:

Neanche per sogno! ::: No way!

Cosa fai di bello? ::: What are you up to?

Sapevo! ::: I knew it!

Mi va ::: literally "it goes me," but slang for I like it. A little more fun than mi piace.

Che schifo! ::: ew, gross! useful when there's calamari on the menu.

Boh ::: a verbal shrug, filler.

Un sacco di ___ ::: fill in the blank with whatever you'd like, and it means you've got heaps of it, as in Ho un sacco di compiti di fare (I've got heaps of homework to do).

And, if all else fails, repetition is key. String together a few bene and you could get away with anything.