fear

hey look! an art card post without an art card!




[insert photo here]

Friday I trick-or-treated as Contemporary Art or, more specifically, Untitled (portrait of the artist in a point of turmoil as she questions her relationship to practicality while trying for truth) Mixed Media, 2008. Wore some high chroma color, stuck a few spiraling sticks in my sideways hair. Super fun. And with a garlic at my side? Unbeatable. But for the title’s part, actually true.

My greatest fear is that I have not/am not/will not live this life fully. That I will take days for granted, that I will forget to be grateful. I am afraid I can’t live up to the person I know I can be—because (oh, dear Brooke!) my comfort would prefer for me to be numb/and avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become.

I don’t think I will overcome this fear anytime soon. And I think many of us deal with the exact same anxiety. But I do know there are moments, spare seconds, where it evaporates, momentarily replaced by an otherworldly joy. You remember who you are, and you love who you are. You are in the right place, doing the right thing. And that, right there, is worth all the worry of any day.

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*ps:::last month's art cards have all been filed on their respective Sundays; clickety-click the colored pencils in the sidebar if you are so inclined.